After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
