I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize