Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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