Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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