god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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