i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize