I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
