I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
