I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
