i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
