oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
