i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize