oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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