I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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