It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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