Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
