just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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