Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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