Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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