I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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