His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize