I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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