the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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