I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
