be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
BRING THE BAGELS
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
