i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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