It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Everyone says I win the strip club
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
