Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
