I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
