So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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