but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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