Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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