how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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