hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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