margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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