She's JV to your varsity
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
