I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
