Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
