physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
