I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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