she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
