oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
