I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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