I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
