You're my little dorito
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
