she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
