i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
