So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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