Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
