two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
