bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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