can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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