I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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