Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
