Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize