I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
