yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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