i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize