i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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