What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
