You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
