I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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