so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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